Thursday, January 1, 2015

3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage.

3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most couples simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love stories, movies, and fairytales we are supposed to live 'happily ever after'. But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when Robin Hood's long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has 'fallen out of love'?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?

The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say "I do," we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don't get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn't. Some say if we don't make mistakes we don't really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That's why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let's call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I'm talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don't make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater   contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It's okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don't always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.

The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn't make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it's up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage!

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Because the key to your marriage success is in your hands!

Welcome!


Friday, May 24, 2013

Vida Curnutt

Energy Medicine – a Few Herbal Suggestions That Will Help You

Your life is busy; you've got work, kids, and a host of other activities in between. How do you find the time to do it all? And, how do you manage to find the energy to complete all of the day's tasks? While it's not safe to take too many prescribed pills... Read >

Anxiety Treatment-Successful Homeopathic Anxiety Treatment Methods

Anxiety is a state of the mind in which there is a mix of emotional and behavioral mechanisms. This leads to unpleasant feelings of agitation, worry and fear. The most common cause of anxiety is stress but there is no way in which stress can be completely... Read >

Acne Treatment Products That Are Effective and Have No Side Effects

Acne is one of the most common skin problems for teens and adults alike. Acne-related problems can be treated effectively by choosing products with no side effects. Selecting wrong products will have negative effects on your skin. All acne products in the... Read >

Things You May Never Knew About Alternative Medicine

If you've been experiencing a number of health problems lately, and don't want to become dependent on traditional medications, you may want to consider alternative medicine to help heal your ailments. This natural medicinal practice will also help you to ... Read >

Herbal Tonic: Jiaogulan Tonic Jule of the Orient for Health and Longevity

The most protective and health-restoring herbals are the liquid preparations called tonics, a name derived from their ability to keep the body's system and energies in tone. Tonics are a mainstay of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the world's most com... Read >

Infidelity-How to Save Marriage After Infidelity

Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. Yes, of all the things that can tear apart a marriage, infidelity is one of the biggest reasons. Extramarital affairs are a betrayal of all the things that marriage is supposed to be about... Read >

After The Affair-Four Tips How To Come Back After The Affair

It is possible to come back after the affair. Filing for divorce is not the solution when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship marriage afte... Read >

Lose Weight With Weight Loss Herbal Liquid TAIslim

Are you having trouble losing weight? Don't try the cabbage soup or Atkins diet! Those 'fad' diets simply don't work. But how to lose weight then? In this article I want to share with you how to lose weight quickly and effectively-with weight loss herbal ... Read >

Relationship Problems Advice-Rebound Relationship Help

Do you have problems with your relationship? Break up? Rebound relationship? Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship. When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she's in a rebound relationsh... Read >

Relationship advice-Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Smart Way

You thought he would never leave you, yet he did. You never saw it coming or maybe you did but your boyfriend just broke up with you. It hurts a lot and you can't accept the truth. What happened? What should I do? Can I get him back? When he did, you pla... Read >

Relationship Problem Advice-Heartbroken Poem To Help You Heal

When you break up with someone you love, you go through lots of painful emotions. You feel lost and broken into pieces like wrecked ship in the sea that didn't get help...If you've ever been through a sad break-up with someone you've love, you may have wr... Read >

Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back-Get Frank Answers

If you're wondering, "Can I get my ex girlfriend back?" then the breakup probably wasn't so devastating that you think the relationship can't be saved. You'll have to hope she feels the same way. If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apo... Read >

Relationship SOS: Need Help To Get My Ex Back

"Our greatest joy-and greatest pain comes in our relationships with others"-Stephen R. Covey. In relationships feelings and emotions might change in a run. They get stronger; they might fade away as well... Do you know how ships part in the sea? They h... Read >

Weight Loss Reviews-7 Exercises For Perfect Body: Shape Your Belly and Bum Zones!

It's the summer time and you want to enjoy yourself wherever you go, whether it is a beach or the dance floor. But you aren't confident about yourself especially your belly or bum. However, 7 exercises are just enough to shape those zones! Don't starve an... Read >

About Relationship-He’s Indifferent to Me…Does He Love Me? /Wall of Indifference

Indifference has many different faces. We talked about attack of indifference and situation that he doesn't react...Today we'll talk about wall of indifference. Wall of indifference There are people who live surrounded by their defensive fortress called... Read >

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How To Save Your Fruit Tree Blossoms From A Spring Freeze

In most parts of the country it's still dead of Winter. However, in a few spots like here in the Desert Southwest, the warming weather starts to play tricks on Spring budding trees and plants. They think it's time to wake up when it's really not quite safe to.

In my own garden, I have an old Peach Tree that produces the most wonderful almost softball size peaches. And up until a few years ago, I rarely got the opportunity to see one make it past the blossom stage.

As sure as the first warm days would wake the old tree up in a display of absolute pink, so surely would a Springtime freeze bring it to an end.

But then one day a few Springs back..... I had a great idea.

It was a little overdue but still quite fortunate that I picked those first warm Spring days to take down and put up the Christmas lights. Because as I held those lights in my hands and looked over at that beautiful pink tree just coming into its glory, a light bulb turned on in my head.

Hmmm....., are you thinking what I’m thinking? I'm sure you are and it does work.

From then on I've been able to get the majority of my blossoms to the point of battling birds and June bugs. However, battling the birds and June bugs will be another article altogether.

While I am more comfortable to grow more fruit trees now, I find that this method still works well for me because I do only have a few trees. I'm not sure how practical, cost effective, or easy it would be to string Christmas lights through more than a few trees.

If you do ever use this method, use the old fashioned base type bulbs and not the little twinkling lights. They put off more heat. Also, if you live in an area where the climate is harsher than here in the desert, it may be helpful to place a sheet of plastic or tarp over the trees in addition to the lights.

While there are other ways of protecting your trees and plants from a freeze, I just thought I would share this with you.

You can find additional info at the following links:

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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Stop my Divorce and Save my Marriage Today

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How to save my Marriage Now after separation

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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

KellySchow

7 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For You

Question: I broke up with my boyfriend a while back but I secretly want him back now. Are there any signs that my he still cares about me? Answer: It's completely natural to have feelings for another person even after a breakup. Although you've... Read >

10 Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back When She Has Moved On

Every girl wants a guy who can understand and connect with her but there are rules for pursuing a girl after a break up and I’ll explain what they are in this article and how they can open the door for getting back together. If you want to get your ex ... Read >

8 Tips for a Successful Online Dating Profile

For many women, the hardest part of internet dating is figuring out what to place in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a page, where they can write about themselves, upload photos and more. Next to your picture, the things you write abou... Read >

The Real Reason Why Men Pull Away and How You Can Stop It

Question:I've been in a long term relationship and I really love my boyfriend but every time I try and talk about the future of our relationship and where we’re headed as a couple he starts to get distant.Why does he do this and what can I do to get... Read >

5 Ways To Guarantee His Love For You

Question: I've been in a relationship with my man for over 1 year and I don't think it's going anywhere. Is there something I'm doing wrong here? What can I do to move our relationship forward and take it to the next level without making him pull a... Read >

The Right Way to Get Your Boyfriend Back – Why Your Next Move Will Make It Or Break It

Question: I want to get my ex boyfriend back so bad but I don’t know how. He broke up with me and broke my heart but I still love him and want to be with him. How can I make him realize I’m the girl for him? Answer: Thanks, that’s a great ques... Read >

4 Changes That Will Save Your Marriage

Question: I think my marriage is in trouble and I want to save it. Is there anything I can do aside from professional counselling? Answer: That's a great question and it's something that gets asked by a lot of couples who feel that their marriage... Read >

4 More Tips To Help You Cope With A Breakup

Question: I've just gone through a really painful breakup and I don't know what to do. I feel like the pain will never go away and that I'll never be loved by anyone the same way again. Will I ever get through this and if so how? Answer: In my la... Read >

How Is it possible to get my husband back and have him love me again?

Question: It seems like my spouse and I are worlds apart. He seems distant at this moment and I’m uncertain what to do. I don’t think he loves me anymore. Is it possible to get my husband back and have him love me again? Answer: This is a toug... Read >

4 Reasons to Skip the Is He The Right Boyfriend Quiz

Question: I've seen a lot of "Is he the right boyfriend" quizzes online and I'm kind of tempted to take one. Will this impact my relationship with him at all? Answer: There are many quizzes online that claim they can help you understand your rela... Read >

4 Reasons To Avoid Taking Boyfriend or Girlfriend Relationship Quizzes

There are a lot of quizzes on the Internet that aim to analyze your relationship. They want to tell you how compatible you are with your boyfriend, and they want to tell you how good of a boyfriend or girlfriend you have. Some quizzes will even try and te... Read >

3 Guaranteed Tips On How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

For virtually every woman who has gone through the pain of losing their boyfriend, there is practically nothing which they wouldn't try to get him back in her arms. When you are in so much pain, it's hard to think that you will really be able to go on liv... Read >

The Real Reasons Why Men Cheat

Question: Will I ever really know the truth about why my husband cheated on me? He says it's because he felt unappreciated in our marriage but I don't think it's that's simple. Why do men cheat on the women they're supposed to love? Answer: I'm s... Read >

Does My Husband Really Love Me After His Affair?

Question: “I'm happy to have my husband back after his affair, but I've still got some questions for him. He told me that he still loved me and that he never stopped loving me and that he wants to save our marriage. However, something tells me that he... Read >

Why Am I So Depressed After My Husband's Affair?

Question: “I've fallen into a depressed state after my husband's affair. I'm really trying hard not to let it get me down, and I try and look on the bright side of life. I'm grateful that I have my health and my family. And I just feel like my husban... Read >

You can find additional info at the following links:

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Has Your Wife Confessed to Cheating? Get a Grip on Your Marriage


It is one thing if you hear rumors or suspect that your wife is cheating and completely another if she actually confesses to cheating. You may be so overwhelmed that you think you cannot get a grip on your marriage, but the truth is that you can do it. If you would like to succeed, there are a number of measures that you need to know and take.

Here are some of the important things that will help you to save your marriage and re-establish a stronger relationship.

Get back to the basics

You need to understand the facts behind your wife's cheating if you want to handle it well. Try to find out for how long she has had the affair and how deep the relationship has gone. You should as well determine whether she really loves him or if she is interested in saving your teetering relationship. You do not expect to reach a well informed decision when you are not aware of the facts in the first place.

Keep your emotions under control

When you embark on getting the facts about your wife's cheating, you are bound to experience a mixture of emotions that may threaten to overwhelm you. It is important that she shares her side of the story with you so that you can have a better understanding. Understanding the things that drove her to an affair will help you to deal with your emotions. You should try to keep your emotions under control even before you start working things out.

Set appropriate goals

Once you have taken the time to sort out the emotions you have been going through, you will need to set relevant goals that correspond to the decisions you have reached. If you have decided to mend your broken relationship, you will need to make appropriate plans to see it through. Set goals that will help you to pull out of your emotional turmoil and avoid falling back to self doubt and depression. You should then break down your major goal into a number of smaller ones that you can achieve progressively one after the other.

Make good plans

When you want to get a grip on your marriage, you will need to have something of interest that you are looking forward to. When you make plans about what you want to do, you will avoid the situation whereby you seem to have no hope and you begin to think about your painful experience. Set your eyes on something you want to do and you will leave no room for the painful memories to wear you out.

Think clearly

Emotions have a way of clouding people's thoughts, yet this is one of the times when you need to think very clearly. Emotions can easily make you commit mistakes that may prove difficult to reverse.

You can find additional info at the following links:

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